So...

Its the end of november and I'm still short on money for a laptop.
So much needs to be written for me to catch up!
I'm going to attempt craigslist for one last time...
My job is going out of business in 6 weeks. And here I still have to come up with funds to:

a: purchase a new laptop
b: travel out west for my second degree in black belt.
c: save money to help my mother pay bills for our home...

On top of battling newly discovered depression and an inferiority complex. Because I just dont feel like I'm good enough anymore, for anything or anyone.

:( Sorry this post is pretty personal. I know there are worse things going on to people all over the world.
I just feel like Im standing at an eight lane crossroads and unsure of where to go....

Hmm...

I suppose on a brighter note. Tom posted a heart warming photo on the app. Of a silly old bear and is little piglet friend.
Sent me back to when "Today" was my favorite day.
Because living and being for today should be all that matters.

Gah! I certainly hope to feel that happy again... I need so much help right now. So... I will try praying tonight.

Love you aliens.
sooo much!